Could It Be?
by MrDrP
Summary: One question is on the minds of the good people of Middleton: Could it be true? [COMPLETE]


Thanks to campy, my ever-helpful beta/proof reader.

Leave a review, get a response. Seriously.

If you saw it on _KP_, Disney owns it.

And now for some with our friends in Middleton … Enjoy!

* * *

I.

High school. A rigidly-structured, soul-deadening, hell-on-earth for the weak. An environment in which a wannabe martinet like Steve Barkin could thrive.

He loved high school. He loved taking lumpen mounds of youth and shaping them into something strong, disciplined, useful. At least he liked the idea of doing that. Today's teens were sometimes too much of a challenge for even Steve Barkin. But he was determined to succeed with at least one of Middleton's students. Ron Stoppable would not leave the halls of MHS until Steve Barkin had made him into a man.

There was only one problem.

Steve Barkin was no longer a teacher and administrator.

Instead, he was a student. At least he seemed to be, since he was no longer wearing dress slacks, jacket and tie, but a pair of cargos and a jersey (in earth tones, of course). Slung over his shoulder was a backpack.

At least he was still large and muscular. If Steve Barkin was going to be a student again, it would definitely be better to be big and strong, rather than small and weak, like Stoppable.

He wondered where Stoppable was. Then he saw him. There he was – no mistaking those big ears and that cowlick.

"Stoppable!" he called out in his booming voice, hoping his now-fellow student could explain what was going on.

The hubbub of the hallway died down quickly.

Everybody stared at Barkin as Ron turned around slowly.

Much to Barkin's surprise, Ron was wearing a jacket. And a tie.

"Did you just call me by my last name, Barkin?" the blond asked.

"Uh, well," Barkin stammered. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Ron walked up to Barkin. "I asked you a question, _Mister_ Barkin …"

Barkin could tell that the honorific was being used sarcastically.

"… I want an answer. Now."

"Well, yes …" he admitted.

"I thought so. See you in detention after school. I'm sure you'll have a badical time," Ron said, turning on his heel.

"Wait!" Barkin called out. "You can't do that!"

Ron slowly turned and looked at Barkin through narrowed eyes. "And why would that be, _Mister_ Barkin?"

"B-because you're not a tea …" Barkin's words trailed off as the true horror of his situation dawned on him.

"That's right, _Mister _Barkin. I'm not a tea. I'm a teacher. And I'm the vice principal of this bon-diggity institution of higher education. Maybe, someday, you'll be vice principal," Ron said encouragingly before adding, "Of course, my wife Kim will be more likely to learn how to cook edible food first …"

Barkin stared at Ron before he fainted.

II.

Kim was helpless. She was in a lair, without any equipment, without Ron or Rufus or any means of contacting Wade. And to make matters worse, all of her skills seemed to have deserted her, which was a ferociously big problem now that Shego was coming after her.

Kim, who had secreted herself behind some crates, finally understood what it must be like for Ron to be on a mission with her. Without cheer-regional-winning moves and sixteen kinds of kung fu at her disposal, she felt very, very vulnerable. She was amazed that he'd actually been going into the field with her for so many years and felt especially lucky to have him as a best friend boy friend. But Ron was nowhere to be seen. She wondered where he was, though. It wasn't like him to flake on a mission.

Her reverie was shattered by the sound of exploding wood. She shrank into a ball and covered her face with her arms. When she peeked through her fingers, she saw her hiding place was all but gone. Standing less than ten feet away was Shego, her hands aglow, a look of supreme confidence on her face.

"Hello, Princess," the glamorous henchwoman said. "Ready to come out and play?"

Given the circumstances, Kim knew she had only one viable option. So she scrambled to her feet and fled, clumsily dodging the bolts of green energy that Shego hurled her way.

Then, something she never expected happened.

Her cargoes fell down and she tripped, falling flat on her face.

She was mortified. Fortunately, if inexplicably, however, she saw that she was wearing a pair of Ron's polka dot boxers, which lessened her embarrassment.

Kim didn't have much time to consider her unaccustomed attire. She had just managed to pull her pants back up when she turned to see Shego pointing a ray gun of some sort directly at her. Before she could even react, Shego zapped her, knocking her unconscious.

Some time later, she didn't know how long, really, Kim woke up. She was tied to iron rings fastened to the wall of the lair. She struggled to break free, but to no avail.

She surveyed her surroundings and noticed Shego was sitting in a chair, listening to her mePod, her feet up on the desk, reading a copy of _Villain's Digest_.

Kim squirmed in discomfort as the ropes were chafing her wrists.

Shego looked up from her reading and smiled at Kim. "Having a good time hanging out, Kimmie?"

"Spankin'," Kim replied sarcastically. "I don't know what the sitch is, Shego, but you and Drakken are going to be so busted."

"Drakken?" Shego asked, genuinely surprised. "Didn't you hear? I ditched Dr. D. Got a new boss. I think you know him …"

A door opened revealing a figure, backlit from behind. Kim recognized the silhouette immediately; only one person had ears like that. "Ron …"

"Hello, Kimberly Ann! Nice of you to visit with us, even if you're all tied up," he said.

"Oy, not you too," she said rolling her eyes.

"What, you don't like witty banter?" he said, disappointed.

"Ron –"

"That's Zorpox to you. I thought the blue skin would be a giveaway, Kimberly Ann. Then again, I shouldn't expect much of you since you're only a C+ student …"

"What?" Kim exclaimed. She was sure she'd been on the honor roll every semester of high school.

"Oh come now, Kimberly Ann," he sneered. "Everybody knows your slogan, 'Just Your C+ Average Girl.'"

Much to Kim's horrified amazement, Ron walked over to Shego and planted a lusty kiss on the green-hued woman's lips.

Kim groaned. Not only was she uncoordinated, not only had her partner in fighting evil turned into a villain, not only had she discovered she wasn't particularly bright, but her best friend boyfriend was lip smacking her arch foe. Her whole life seemed to be falling apart. This sitch so couldn't get worse.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked, unable to hide her mounting anxiety.

A truly wicked grin spread over Ron's face. "Once I place this neural compliance chip on you, you'll do as I say. And for starters, I think I'll have you go home, throw away all of your Club Banana clothes and start wearing this. In public …"

Kim's eyes grew wide as Ron held up a hideous, garish floral-print frock, made of 100 percent polyester and bearing a Smarty Mart store tag.

As Zorpox let loose his villain's laugh, Kim screamed …

III.

James T. Possible was sipping on his morning coffee, reading the _Examiner_.

"Morning, Dad!" Kim said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Kimmie-cub," he replied, not bothering to look from behind his paper.

"Morning, Dr. P!" Ron said.

"Good morning, Ronald," James said before pausing. Something wasn't right. "Ronald, I didn't hear you come in."

"Uh, why would you? I came down from the loft with Kim," he answered.

That caught James' attention. He decided it was time to stop reading and put down the paper. He immediately wished he hadn't.

Kim and Ron were standing by the counter, fixing themselves bowls of cereal. Ron looked the same as he always did. He was wearing cargoes, a red hockey jersey, and his hair was a tousled blond mop. Kim however most definitely did not look like her normal self. She was huge.

"Kim … you're pregnant …" he stammered.

"Doy, Dad," she said with an affectionate smile. "Like I need to be reminded. I am so feeling like a hippopotamus."

"Hey, no dissing the most badical mom-to-be in Middleton!" Ron said. "You are not a hippo, KP, though you are a grande-sized helping of extreme steam!" he added, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kim responded with a salacious grin. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Ron," she said before throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

James' jaw dropped as he watched his teen aged daughter and her teen aged boyfriend begin making out in the kitchen. He was jolted from his brain freeze when the passion became so heated that Kim knocked over the carton of milk and Ron hit the box of Toastie O's, sending cereal flying all over.

James cleared his throat. Kim and Ron, startled, looked in his direction.

"Um, Kim maybe you should take a break and get ready for school," he suggested, "while I begin measuring Ronald for his space capsule."

Kim scowled. "So not funny, Dad. You are not sending Ron into space. And why would I get ready for school?"

"Um, because you're a senior?"

"Dad, you know I dropped out. It's not like I'm going to college, not with triplets to take care of. Besides, it's much more fun to stay home and make out with Ron all day!"

Ron flashed a goofy grin at her. "I'm all about making out with you, KP!" Then he looked at James. "Don't worry about our future, Dr. P. We're cool with living here until I get a job …"

James' eyes rolled back up into his head as he fainted …

IV.

Ron was still in shock.

All he had tried to do was get to second base with Kim.

Second. That's it. Not third, just second. That had seemed reasonable enough, given how long they'd been dating.

But as far as James Possible had been concerned, Ron was trying to steal home.

The patriarch of the Possible family lost no time in dealing with Ron. One moment Ron was enjoying some quality time with his favorite feminina, the next he was being shoehorned into a tiny space capsule.

Ron had screamed through the entire lift off. He continued to scream as the craft sped past the Moon, and Mars, all the way past Neptune. He didn't want to go to a black hole. After he passed Pluto, his little craft hit a very strange astronomical phenomenon. Ron couldn't explain what it was, but when he realized it was flinging him back towards the Sun, he didn't care. Maybe, somehow, someway, he'd find his way back to Earth.

He'd promise to be a good boy, to never do anything – even missions – with Kim without a chaperone present.

Ron was thrilled when it became clear the capsule was heading back to Earth.

As the craft plummeted through the atmosphere, he didn't care about the turbulent reentry. Nor did he complain about the hard landing. He was back home, and that was all that mattered.

He forced the hatch open and scrambled out of the pod, tripped over the lip, and tumbled to the ground. He didn't care. He was back on Terra Firma.

He got up, took off his helmet, and brushed the dirt off his spacesuit. Then he looked around. He was at the Middleton High School football field. He wandered into the school building, which seemed deserted. He roamed the halls, but found no one. Finally, he arrived at Kim's locker; he was glad she had given him the combination. He spun the dial back and forth and opened the door. Then he booted up the computer, hoping to talk with Wade. Ron was sure Wade would have an explanation.

The young tech guru didn't respond.

Ron was becoming agitated.

He bolted from the school and ran to Kim's house, not caring that her father had only recently launched him into space. He had to know that his KP was safe.

He arrived at the Possibles', out of breath and sweating – space suits were not designed for sprinting, after all. He burst through the door and called out Kim's name.

There was no answer.

He searched every room, but there was no sign of anyone. No notes, nothing.

But there was something strange: Banana peels littered the kitchen floor and counter.

"Monkey Fist!" Ron exclaimed.

Now Ron was scared and angry. If Monkey Fist had hurt Kim or her family the crazed nobleman was going to have to deal with Ron's mad fu skills.

Ron left the house and began to search Middleton.

Hours later, having been to his home, the tree house, Bueno Nacho, the mall, the Medical Center, the Space Center, the Temple, and the Middleton Lodge, he'd still found no one. He was at a loss, sad, and without a clue as to what to do next.

He found himself wandering by the park when he heard chattering. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He knew something sick and wrong was going on, but he couldn't resist. He had to investigate.

He was shocked when the first human-sized monkey dropped in front of him. He could have sworn it looked like Bonnie … it had even sneered at him.

Then he spotted another one; it looked like Monique. Ron's hands began shaking and his stomach began to do flips. He was not liking this at all. Soon he noticed figures swinging from tree branches.

More monkeys appeared. Ones that looked like Barkin, his parents, Wade, Ned, Tara, Hope, Marcella, the Drs. Possible and the tweebs. Ron looked around frantically. This couldn't be happening. If all of these people had turned into monkeys did that mean that …?

He couldn't bear the thought.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around.

There, now standing in front of him, was a monkey with long auburn hair and sparkling green eyes wearing a Middleton High cheer squad outfit.

"Hi, Ron," Kim said. "Want a banana?"

"AAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEE!" he screamed before he fainted on the spot.

V.

"I'm sorry, sir," the bow-tied man behind the deli counter said. "There is no cheese. And there never will be again. Here or anywhere else."

Rufus promptly fainted.

VI.

Ned shook his head as he filled out the report to Headquarters. He'd been pleased and proud that Bueno Nacho was going to be a donor to the Middleton Days picnic. Now, he was mighty peeved about the ingredients-gone-bad that he'd been sent by Regional – he, after all, was the one who had to deal with the fallout from serving Tex Mex with a hex. His only consolation was that he'd been too busy to eat any food the previous day.

After all, there was no telling what kind of nightmares he might have had.


End file.
